The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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