he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
