i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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