My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Farmville is her only friend.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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