I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
