Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I don't think brook has ever known best
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.