He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen