Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
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I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
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So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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