Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it. http://tfl.nu/veic
  Replies (26) Good night (992) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant http://tfl.nu/up0m
  Replies (54) Good night (5010) Bad night (1614)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards http://tfl.nu/ieco
  Replies (24) Good night (1156) Bad night (4087)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test? http://tfl.nu/9rcf
  Replies (20) Good night (1112) Bad night (3647)
• Favorite

  (975): View more from Missouri

  At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (975): At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt. http://tfl.nu/pzgf
  Replies (5) Good night (2643) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again. http://tfl.nu/cfdh
  Replies (7) Good night (2115) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you. http://tfl.nu/6h34
  Replies (17) Good night (2047) Bad night (2494)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  She just gave me a free latte.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): She just gave me a free latte. (416): Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina. http://tfl.nu/g8qo
  Replies (7) Good night (3445) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win? http://tfl.nu/frm8
  Replies (6) Good night (1610) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck http://tfl.nu/51rp
  Replies (2) Good night (494) Bad night (1607)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league http://tfl.nu/mvb2
  Replies (2) Good night (1243) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down? (978): I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it http://tfl.nu/io4i
  Replies (6) Good night (1078) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man. http://tfl.nu/n99f
  Replies (2) Good night (322) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard. http://tfl.nu/g9pr
  Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right) http://tfl.nu/pdep
  Replies (1) Good night (504) Bad night (271)

Randomize