Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.

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  (206): Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once. http://tfl.nu/nlk3
  Replies (6) Good night (1535) Bad night (857)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.

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  (904): Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/aofb
  Replies (11) Good night (668) Bad night (3676)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.

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  (913): I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago. http://tfl.nu/uh8m
  Replies (35) Good night (13756) Bad night (1053)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.

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  (732): Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest. http://tfl.nu/jp7b
  Replies (36) Good night (6295) Bad night (2388)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.

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  (507): Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over. http://tfl.nu/ztri
  Replies (7) Good night (2432) Bad night (1572)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!

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  (512): On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!! http://tfl.nu/5462
  Replies (2) Good night (2262) Bad night (796)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates

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  (484): scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates http://tfl.nu/oxez
  Replies (12) Good night (7163) Bad night (1100)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.

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  (712): Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night. http://tfl.nu/6nit
  Replies (10) Good night (2344) Bad night (686)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.

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  (306): I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better. http://tfl.nu/dkdn
  Replies (8) Good night (1360) Bad night (487)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  We need more drag queens in our life I've decided

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  (781): We need more drag queens in our life I've decided http://tfl.nu/77cl
  Replies (3) Good night (1050) Bad night (509)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth

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  (808): At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth http://tfl.nu/4jaz
  Replies (4) Good night (888) Bad night (376)
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  (805): View more from California

  the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick

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  (805): the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick http://tfl.nu/e696
  Replies (6) Good night (685) Bad night (293)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him

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  (306): he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him http://tfl.nu/xwro
  Replies (1) Good night (492) Bad night (180)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust

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  (513): It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust http://tfl.nu/67aa
  Replies (2) Good night (222) Bad night (694)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.

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  (956): I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night. http://tfl.nu/cx0y
  Replies (1) Good night (220) Bad night (167)

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