I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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