After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
