I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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