Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We left an ass print on the piano.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
