no, he came in my armpit
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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