I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
