I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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