official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
