We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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