I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
