i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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