Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm passing your future prison.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
