No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
