i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
