5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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