12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he was CRYING into my vagina
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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