we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
