i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
