When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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