one might say we're banned from that church
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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