a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
