So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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