I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
