dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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