I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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