Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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