i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
