my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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