i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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