i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
bring money and cleavage
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
