wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
