I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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