Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
