how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
