Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
