ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
