Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
