So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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