Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
