Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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