the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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