RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Randomize
