You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
