my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
