u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
