I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
