It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
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Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
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I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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