I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
