i permit you to call me
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
and you fell through a lawn chair
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
