What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
why do cheetos always look like penises
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
