Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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