im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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