I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You need Xanax blowdarts
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
