Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
