Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
