i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
