You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
