we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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