i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
His nipple licking is glorious
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